He is laying between Brit and Derrick in a king size bed staring at the sloped popcorn ceiling of her townhouse loft trying to talk out the world in real time.
Your religion sounds like a joke.
His religion does not! I mean there are some areas I personally I don’t understand. But look, you have done all this hard work for God and your church over the years… and you wanted to spend this small section of time to find out about yourself. You are dedicating the rest of your life to working at the Watchtower factories. It doesn’t sound like it’s in God’s best interest to punish you via your father.
And if he did… time to get a new god.
Brit throws a pillow at Derrick, You’re not helping.
Yes, but he has a point. And you’re right too. It’s just… a lot to process. He goes into surgery tomorrow.
Brit bounces out of bed, Get dressed, boys. I know exactly what you need.
Don’t say a makeover.
Please… yeah, don’t say a makeover.
We’re going to the zoo.
Four hours of walking around found Brit bounces out of the park with an ice cream in one hand and a stuffed bear in the other looking like the happiest puff of blonde curly hair in the world. James freed his mind a little bit and was back to making jokes. Even Derrick has left the realms of his normal pouty demeanor to an area that almost resembles goofiness. As the zoo was mostly empty it felt good to run around like he owned the place and relax among the energy of the wildlife and foliage. The trio exiting are relaxed, engaging, and more balanced then when they entered.
There is a page that comes in and James talks on the pay phone while the other two make plans for the evening.
I have to over to the hospital. Dad wants to go over a few things before his surgery tomorrow morning.
Brit gives him a big hug. Derrick sandwiches him in.
Keep your chin up.
Let us know if you need anything.
The next two days progress at a pace so slow it seems that each exhalation of the lungs take a full minute to extinguish One factor he hadn’t counted on is the idea of mortality that looms over a person’s head upon hearing the word “cancer”. James and his mom didn’t talk through much of this time as his mother becomes an emotional vacuum of sorts in times of trauma so he really isn’t kept informed about the technicalities of the operation. The surgeon is nice enough to seek out James, and give him updates the morning of the surgery. He stands with David in the corridor and talks with the doctor about the procedure. He assured both young men that something like colon cancer was not hereditary, and it is something neither should worry about until they are in their forties. It is good to have David by his side as he is able to ask questions when James cannot.
When his father comes out of surgery he has the pleasure of hearing something along the lines of “I think we got all of it.”
Not just relief, but movement, freedom to progress past the stagnate state of staring at blurs flying by, unremembered conversations and dump trucks filled with sympathy and well wishes piling up on top of him until he was buried alive with the weight of nicety and compassion. It was comforting to an extent and it is completely understandable why his mother has a sort of addiction to this level of sentimentality, but he finds it uncomfortable and wanted to focus more on the movement of getting past this. The influx of human emotions were neither helpful nor harmful as James was void of emotions until there is resolution, so the padded pillows of cards, flowers, and covered dishes are just reminders of how helpless he really was against the situation. And with one sentence from the doctor, the air in the room begins to flow and he finally feels his own heart beat.
Upon seeing his father awake and cracking jokes, the rest of the internal organs made their appearance in full volume.
Geez, I’m starving.
You haven’t eaten much in two days.
I know. It’s amazing I was able to cum.
Nothing. We have a ton of food at the house.
Soggy green bean salad and tuna casserole? No thanks, scoffs David.
You know I have to eat all of that.
That’s because you’re nice. I’m not. So let’s get some real food. My treat.
You mean your dad’s treat.
“Real food” to David is the pecan-crusted pork chop at America’s Restaurant to which James answers with the duck tortellini in basil sauce. A plate of grilled vegetables and potato-battered calamari is split between them. It feels like the first meal of his lifetime as they eat in silence. Riding home means new consumed energy is hard at work constructing a better, more peaceful him.
After a week of his father’s recovery he saw something he had never seen before in anyone with such supernatural potency. Steve was beaming with heartfelt appreciation for everything and everyone he came in contact with. His smile can be felt from the other side of the construction site and with each “congratulations” and “welcome back” he would return with talking to each person individually with grinning gratitude.
Take life by the horns.
Again this is good encouragement that James needed at the time but with adverse application. A few weeks later he finds himself at the front desk of Feathers once again. Enter a tall, thin man in his mid-forties with dark blonde and slight grey messy hair escorted by a young James-height swimmer-built kid with bright blue eyes, a gorgeous smile, and light blonde hair under a blue tartan Scottish cap.
Hello there. My name is Jack and this is my friend… for today, umm…
Yes! Ollie. This facility, it’s just like a brothel or what?
James tries to contain his annoyance. This is often a question asked a little later in the conversation not right away, and not with such blatant lack of decorum about the matter even if it was just a preventative measure to keep the cops from busting the place. Added to the tension was the fact that he really wanted to rip the clothes off Ollie right then, and there and it is slowly turning into animosity that this person… this… Jack… would be fucking Ollie sometime later in the day and he would not.
(Professionally) No. This is a private modeling and fetish facility where you can get a hot oil back rub or private dance with any of our models. We have a variety of theme rooms. You pick a model and a…
I just want to get fucked.
Anything you want you will need to discuss with the model you choose. We have the best dungeon in Houston. I’m sure there are more than a few things that can make it up your ass if you were looking for that. But we are not intending…
But, I mean, “private modeling” is ambiguous at best and you have condoms on the desk. There has to be someone who can fuck me.
Our point is to offer a safe place for people to explore fetishes.
What if my fetish is to be fucked in the best dungeon in Houston?
James was almost laughing at this point. If this was a cop, he was good. I’m not going to discuss sex with you here because we are not selling sex, as prostitution is illegal in the state of Texas. So if you are going to insist on this particular subject I am forced to respond with “try an escort.”
Jack smiles at the maneuver. What about you? Do you escort?
One night out at the Rich’s an older muscle guy had approached James and asked him to dance. He said ‘no’ lying by saying he was “working” and waiting for a client. The man replied by saying he didn’t need to pay for it, but still patted James on the ass as he walked away. James thought he was in the clear. As the night went on and the non-existent client failed to show up, the man returned, and this time he was more persistent, so much so… he was willing to pay. James had no choice but to maintain the lie. Everyone at Feathers and the Gold Room has clients on the side… it is where the real money was at.
He felt his pager in his pocket as he mulls over the question Jack asked. No, I do not.
Jack thinks for a second. Ollie is staring at James with the biggest smile. Any hardened exasperation somewhat melted into timid nervousness. This of course, is noticed by Jack.
Okay, here’s the deal. It’s my birthday today and I’m having a party over at my place all night and I want you to be there. I know you don’t want to talk sex because of legality reasons, but I am inviting you to my home and I want you to bring someone with a big dick. I will pay them $100.00 per inch. You will get $200.00 for every person you bring me.
He takes out a business card holder and removes a card. On the reverse he writes down “$100.00/inch” and his cell number sliding it through the reception slot. Okay? That is for you. Ollie will be there and he is helping out with party supplies and such, all of which I will share with you.
Billy walks into the reception as Jack shimmers with delight. Who is this?
This is Billy. If you would like to see more of Billy, it will be a $40.00 membership fee good for six months, plus a $40.00 entrance fee for today. That goes for both of you. Plus whatever you would like to spend on yourself with the model.
You mean a tip?
Oh, for Christ’s sake man! We just went through this with sex, don’t make me dance around the subject of tips.
(Laughing) Okay, okay. I get it. I want him in the dungeon. He pulls out a wad of cash and pulls out $80.00 and hands it through the reception slot. Entrance for one, please.
James puts the money in the register and pulls out the application fee. I need you to fill this out.
I don’t have time for this. Jack takes out his driver’s license and hands it to Ollie. Fill this out, please.
Wait, I need to have the person…
Look. It’s my birthday, and I’m horny. I’m going to pay you a lot of money for a lot of dick. So I think you can let me grant me this one thing and let my friend here, fill out the paperwork.
Private time with Ollie? Yes, please. He buzzes the horny man in and Billy takes off with him down the hall.
You are a strapping man. How big are you exactly??
Wouldn’t you rather have James? He’s better in the dungeon than…
James is for later. (Fading.) Right now I want you.
Ollie fills out the paperwork carefully, making sure his handwriting is precise and accurate, which was difficult because he was looking at James and smiling most of the time.
Can you come out here and talk or no?
The door is on a buzzer system, if I go out there, I’m locked out.
Oh. Too bad.
I can stand at the door though.
Seeing Ollie’s reaction was something that froze James. He was safely behind glass, distant, away from whatever he was desiring, but once the door opened he, his energy, his eyes were going to be live and in person in front of him. It made him nervous to the point where he had to be reminded of what he was doing.
Oh yeah. Sorry.
He takes off around the corner and the opens the door with trepidation. Ollie moves in close. James can smell his Irish Spring… a scent that normally sent him into hives is now something tickling the nose playfully.
Are you going to come over to Jack’s tonight?
I don’t know. Would you notice if I wasn’t there?
Ollie moves in closer. Yeah.
James couldn’t focus. He was smiling. I… well…
Am I making you uncomfortable?
Yes… NO! I mean… I’m nervous.
I’m sorry. Ollie backs up a little to give James room to breathe. It worked.
This was the first time where he understood the phrase “when sparks fly”. He had been noticing intense energies from people who were focused on him, who instantly fell in love or wanted to save him from all… this. Now, it’s different and he was feeling the same attraction toward someone else and the combination of the two energies made it difficult to inhale at first. Once he had a little space to breathe he was able to regain composure.
It’s okay. It’s just that… when you’re close, all I want to do is kiss you.
Ollie’s square jawline transforms into one round grin. He moves back in closer. I have no problem with that.
Audacity, in all it’s forms, is something James is trying to become a master of, but it’s easier when one’s emotions are kept out of the line of fire. This is completely different. His heart is pounding with the force of a jackhammer while his dick was throbbing uncontrollably. He forgets everything he ever knew about the technicalities of kissing – all charts, graphs, instructions, practice sessions and techniques disappeared from reach at this pivotal moment when everything else seemed like a rehearsal for this one performance. He wants to impress, as he has spent his life impressing people and going above and beyond. He wants to impress, as he knows this guy has had a lot of sex and somehow he has to compare with history. He wants to impress so these blue eyes will come back for more. He wants to impress… but he forgets how.
James has spent his entire life void of this uncomfortable giddiness. He has already come to the conclusion that it was a myth or at the very least something homosexuals do not have the capacity of knowing. How does one come face to face with a feeling they didn’t know exists and yet still… function? He was frozen staring at the scene afraid to attack it with force for fear it may disappear at any moment. It was blowing up his brain uncontrollably and yet he didn’t give a flying fuck. He tried to be the top guy in control once more, and with his right hand placed behind Ollie’s head, he pulls him in and kisses him with a softness that surprised both guys standing in the doorway. He tasted like metal and cigarettes mixed with a soft gummy tongue that took the breath right out from the lungs and replaced it with warm coy saliva.
Ollie leans in and James backs up against the door frame. As soon as their raging hard-ons touched, James knew he was good to go, and once the trigger is let loose, the soft passionate embrace turned into an animistic cannibalization of this complete stranger by pushing him against the door itself and penning him with a force that seemed to vibrate throughout the building as he held on to the door with one hand and the guy’s head with the other. James did not know where this was coming from but it was hot, and he felt there would be little control left if this went too far.
He pauses for a moment… and goes back to the soft passionate kissing before releasing Ollie from his grip, his lips, and his eyes.
Whereas James is a little frightened by this force he tries not to show it as Ollie seems very much in control, and smiles with a slight smug glad to see you had that in you sense of satisfaction. This kid did not seem as overwhelmed by the lengthy exchange, and this worried him, I am no where near this guy’s league. He had been experimenting with the boundaries of people both mentally and physically but never really considered testing his own and this… force was something overpowering and exciting. This guy had boundaries that made it feel as if James was throwing a Nerf ball on the field of the Astrodome… and this of course, makes him a challenge.
He puts their heads together and stare into each other’s eyes.
Dude, that was hot.
What’s your name?
I really want you to come tonight, James.
Okay, he says like a lost puppy.
They kiss some more, slower, almost lip lovemaking in the music of appreciation. The more they grind the more erect he becomes. He didn’t even know this level of erection was possible. How have I been missing out on this for so long? WHY have I been missing out on this for so long?
Time had faded into oblivion and is only resurrected due to a noise that comes from the dungeon. I’m pretty sure that’s Billy’s orgasm.
Ollie snapped to attention. The mesmerizing exchange halted and a shift in the room occurred. Neither person was sure if they were doing something wrong, but there was a realization that they just might be. Jack was apparently paying Ollie for the day and night so this could be a douche move on James’s part. The guys kiss each other once more and go to their respective stations, one behind the reception desk and the other on the lobby side of the window.
Well that was well worth it. You will get another thousand if you come to my party tonight.
The door to the lobby swings open and Jack looks well stuffed.
Hope you had a good time.
I did, and thank you. This, is for you. He takes out the now reduced wad of cash and extracts two $100.00 bills and hands it through the window. Will I be seeing you this evening?
He’ll be there. (Wink.)
I MAY show up. (Smiling at Ollie.) Where is this place?
I will draw you a map. Ollie, take my phone and call your guy for the… stuff.
Ollie takes the phone and dials as he walks to the opposite corner of the lobby. Jack draws a map and gives verbal directions James doesn’t hear. The guys leave. Billy has been standing behind James without his noticing.
What was that all about?
His party tonight. I don’t know, you going?
How did you get a thousand dollars when you’re nine inches?
I was talking about the exchange between you and his guy friend, escort, boy, whatever.
Billy, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
You could see those sparks from space.
James, don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes you’re the dumbest smart guy I know.
(Laughing.) I know, I know. This is the first time I’m letting stuff… I don’t know… emotions just… get some exercise.
It’s adorable, actually. Good to know you’re human.
Did you just call me “adorable”?
Shut it. So you going to see him again?
Yep. I guess I’m going to a party tonight.
James P. Perez © 2013